Apologies, Robert: . . . in a Strange Land, A Sequel
My university students are really interesting. But they kind of have strange ideas. So does the department where I work. For example, the department says that the students must show up for class. If they do not, and there is a limit for how often they don't, they fail, or just don't get credit for the course. Same thing, I think.
So my students at the end of the term say to me, "I was in class. I was there (almost) every lesson," as they stare at their failing test paper. They then say, "I did the work. I turned in all of your assignments."
"My assignments?" And I am also thinking, but did you do your own assignments, your own work? I found a Web site with the exact same words your last essay had, an essay which said at the top, written by you. Funny kind of world, where Web sites are copying student work left and right.
Students come to me and apologize for not having attended a class. It is never "I won't be there because," but always "I was not there because, and I am sorry." I know I live in an English-as-a-second-or-third language part of the world, and things get a little screwy because my students and I are often not communicating in the same English. But the apology always stops me for a moment; I have learned to quickly recover though, and say something like, "You have communicated why you were not in class. That is an excuse, and I guess you are excused."
But you see, even that goes too far. I don't care if they come to class or not. I am not into excuses. I am not in concert with my department on this. I don't relish all that record keeping. Who is here today and who is not? The real question is who is present and are we learning anything interesting. Have you left evidence of your attendance in class today, or online at any time during the term? Presence of mind is more important than the body, and showing up on a given day and time is not as important when we can have our cake and eat it too. I am referring to virtual classrooms and 24/7 learning.
The absent student asks me if there will be a problem because s/he was not present (in body). I think not--the important thing is doing the work, that is showing you know and can do what the lesson or course is at least vaguely about.
So I say, "Attendance is meaningless as such. Performance and results are what count. Show up either in class or online and do the lesson."
"Oh?" or no response at all.
So my students at this time of year, taking the departmental line, say that they were in class, or online, and they should get credit or pass.
"You don't get credit for showing up on the job; you get paid when you do the work. And for some jobs nowadays, showing up thankfully means getting it done on your own time, at your own convenience, within limits, of course. What a great world, but in time (all at once at the last moment) is often not good enough, at least for the good reasons that we cannot control (i.e., check) the quality and eliminate defects before we certify you and send you out the door into the real world."
"Huh? So you won't give me credit?"
"It is not my job. It is your job to earn it. I am just the lackey who says you did your work. Competently."
Now there is a whole other subject, which I will not get into here. Suffice to say, just turning in work or getting ten percent above guessing all the answers to the test is not much competence: a 60 percent passing grade for a course is, well . . .
"Sixty percent quality product from this university for sale. What am I bid? Shows up for work if told to, and turns out work, if not his or her own, sometimes in sporatic bursts. Absent sometimes, but for reasons you can sympathesize with. Ideal pre-current-era employee: Believes showing up for work should be compensated."
Universities and students today? I feel like I am in culture shock in a strange country speaking an English that is at best half understood. I am operating at about 60 percent, I guess. Maybe I need to work a bit harder than just showing up in class and imagining I am teaching. I apologize. Really. Or, excuse me. I am just a stranger here.
03.02.2005
