A trip back to the mother country awakens one's ears to changes in the mother tongue. I recently visited the US. Not surprisingly, I found my native language changing. The following sound bite surprised me. But I hope it is an aberration, not a development.
"Hello, this is So-and-So. I am not available to take your call right now, but if you leave a message, I will get back to you at my earliest convenience."
Several people I telephoned in the US had this recorded on their answering machines inviting callers to leave a message. For those interested in native speech, this sounds like a good sample of American English to consider, or not.
The phrase "at [one's] earliest convenience" has been used to leave an urgent message, or make an important request. The caller or writer says, "Please get back to me at your earliest convenience." Translation: "I need you to do something ASAP [as soon as possible]. In fact, and quite probably, I will be very worried or upset if you don't!"
Here is the translation of the variant of that phrase given by the answering machine.
"I will get back to you when I choose to. But it will be on my terms, if I have time today, perhaps after working out, having lunch with friends, checking my e-mail, and watching the latest installment of "Desperate Housewives" on TV. If tomorrow or later, well, I will just have to see if I can fit calling you into my busy schedule."
Yes, I may be overstating a bit. I acknowledge one might let this kind of thing pass coming from an answering machine. But aren't the incoming and outgoing voices on answering machines those of people? Face-to-face, the "at my convenience" would be rare unless the speaker really wanted social boundaries and difference in status in bold, italics, and underlined. "What is important and urgent for you is not necessarily so for me. In fact, it's not."
I was surprised at hearing these outgoing messages because "at your earliest convenience" has had a limited situation or context. It was for when you really needed an answer from someone, or to have something done. Not often was it used for saying, "I am more important than you, or whatever it is you want."
Has my native language evolved with this strain, or is this a culture bite I am hearing? For people to assert how communications will be without first knowing who is calling and for what, well, that is using language for a preemptive strike. Must be a culture thing.
The American preoccupation with rights and what is right has its darker side. Argue with this if you will, but an answering machine's generic outgoing message reveals its owner in his or her new clothes. Among other, not-so-obvious messages is that "at my earliest convenience" assumes callers need to be clear about the rules for live talk. The party calling back will be in charge, including when.
It is as if the one leaving a call-me-back message isn't already clear on these points. The advance warning, or is it admonition, isn't necessary.
Having said this, I prefer not to hear the obvious, and not subject myself to a role I don't help define in relationship. "At my convenience" from an answering machine is rude. I suspect other users sensitive to the feeling-tones in the language would agree. This phrase should be reserved for those demanding few who deserve reminding their language or behavior needs restraint. "At your earliest convenience" can retain its original, useful urgency, as in "Please get back to me on this quickly."
I hope preemptive strikes are not casually creeping into the language. At your earliest convenience, argue with this message if you will. I will get back to you on that.
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* Posted originally by Kevin Mactavish, 13 April 2006, on http://jbrooksdann.typepad.com/anecdotal/2006/01/how_convenient.html. Thanks to J. Brooks Dann for starting the conversation.
